14 Things I Love About My Husband

Our 4th wedding anniversary is this Thursday, and I was thinking recently about the sappy cards and presents Vivek and I used to give each other on our dating anniversary (Feb. 10th or 13th depending on which one of us you ask) and contrasting that with this year's reality, which is that we are probably going to say "happy anniversary" (if we even remember :) and not do much else. I don't think there is any deeper meaning to this fact other than the obvious one -- that we are the new parents of a four-month-old, which is consuming most of our creative energy. But tonight, something Vivek did made me smile, and once I got started, I was able to think of a good many more things I love about him too. So in that spirit, I came up with this non-exhaustive (and pretty sappy) list:

1. He doesn't think it is just my job to get up in the middle of the night to comfort our baby.

2. He is willing to be the only guy in a class full of stay-at-home moms so he can learn silly songs and games to do with Kiren. This despite the fact that the teacher continues to refer to everyone in the group as "moms" and said that one of the topics of discussion could be the ladies complaining about their husbands.

3. He continues to load the dishwasher his way, even though I have patiently explained that 4 times as many dishes will fit if he would do it my way. Of course, most importantly, he is loading the dishwasher.

4. He doesn't recognize that we have at least three different types of spoons, so when I look in our silverware drawer, I can always tell when he has unloaded the dishwasher. Of course, most importantly, he has unloaded the dishwasher.

5. He gets really excited to learn new things, often by reading books, especially ones that present coherent theories on dog training, baby sleep habits, parenting, etc.

6. He knows that I am particular about certain things, like not using metal on non-stick pans, and he tries his best to do it my way, even though such things don't bother him in the least.

7. At the very beginning of our stay in the hospital for Kiren's birth, he held my hand while I got an IV, and in response to my cringing, he promised that he would clean the kitty litter forever. This, even though he'd been doing the kitty litter for 9 months solid at that point, and that after pregnancy, it would no longer be dangerous for me to take my turn. I am pretty sure I won't hold him to that.

8. Even though he doesn't like to, and has tried to talk me out of it, he still saves all of his receipts so that I can do my time-consuming (and arguably useless) bookkeeping.

9. It bothers him more than it bothers me to have dirty dishes in the kitchen, so even though he was wary of all of my breast pump equipment that has to be washed constantly, he is the one doing those dishes more often than not.

10. He is incredibly passionate about his work, and he is always on the lookout for more ways to be involved, learn new things, or advocate for changes that will improve his field and his clients' lives.

11. On the last night of our stay in the hospital, I encouraged Vivek to go home and get a good night's rest because my mom was willing to stay overnight with me instead. At first, he agreed that was a good idea, but he changed his mind saying that he would miss his family too much.

12. The first time they wheeled Kiren into our hospital room in the clear rolling crib thing, he asked the nurses for permission to pick up Kiren. The nurses said that since Kiren is our baby, we didn't need permission. And this question was from a guy who teaches classes on parental rights! Truth be told, though, I am glad he asked because I wasn't sure about "the rules" either. That is just the tip of the iceberg re: what we didn't know about parenting, but we are having fun learning together.

13. He doesn't retain song lyrics at all, but that doesn't stop him from constantly singing silly songs to Kiren with made-up lyrics that make our boy (and me) laugh.

14. He's taking four months of paternity leave, which could be a much deserved break for him. Instead, he is teaching a night class, working on various proposals, advising students, attending faculty meetings, talking to the professors covering his cases AND he still finds time to read the entire newspaper every day, do the dishes, and change the laundry loads, not to mention take care of Kiren, of course. I was only able to accomplish the Kiren part and the occasional load of laundry during my leave!

Happy Anniversary, Vivek. I love you!